hal tweets ·7:42 AM
A short piece I wrote for AOLnews about why Peep culture trumps privacy online. http://bit.ly/bQECsC
Relationships
2008,
18:36 GMT
Portrait of a Blogger on the Darkside
Posted by: Hal
Not really. In fact Padme, the primary author of the blog Journey to the Darkside is sweet as can be. Even over the phone with her I thought she was going to offer me milk and cookies. And blog posts with titles like Victoria Anniversary Night and Happy 7th Birthday Skywalker! don’t exactly come across as dangerous.
But innocuous fare about trips and birthday parties quickly gives way to posts like “The First Time I Sucked Two Cocks in One Night” and “Darth Vader is My Daddy”. What gives? I ended up on the phone with the very kind Padme (not, obviously, her real name) and found out the following:
Padme’s husband is also her master. He makes all the decisions and regularly spanks or whips her with a riding crop. This is part of Padme’s life and she blogs about it almost as matter of factly as she blogs about recovering from surgery and celebrating her wedding anniversary. One suspects, though, that it is the details of her sex life that have caused the site to get over a million-and-a-half visits since its inception three years ago.
Part of Padme wants to get exposed. In her emails to me she refers to the blog as private even though she knows as well as I do that the blog is a public document open to all. When I ask her about this she says: “It’s a public blog and there’s always a risk with that. I have heard stories of other bloggers being found out by their families, but we’ve been pretty lucky, so far no one has come across it. I’ve been kind of worried from the beginning about that. You almost half expect that someone will come up to you and say ‘I know who you are.’ “
Well Padme doesn’t just half expect it, I get the feeling she half wants it to happen. After all, this blog is very detailed and anyone who knows this couple even casually would probably be able to put two and two together.
So why take the risk? It’s pretty clear that Padme has come to rely heavily on the blog as a source of community, friendship, creativity and attention. As she tells me: “I don’t drive, I don’t work, I’m a stay-at-home mom and I’m alone all day. It’s been a great way to connect to people.”
Somehow, Padme is able to ignore the fact that she knows very little about the 3000 people a day who read her blog. She talks to me about overcoming embarrassment and writing as if it was just Master who would be reading. When I ask her if she thinks it’s odd that thousands of strangers know more about her life than neighbours, friends and family she seems momentarily flustered. Finally she tells me that, at the end of the day, the pros outweigh the cons and she simply “tries not to think about the lurkers.”
2008,
13:10 GMT
Back Alley PeepCam: "Tuesday Morning Rain" comes with Great Peep Story
Posted by: Hal
A great comment by reader Mark McCawley of Edmonton. I’m reposting here so that more people can enjoy this fabulous Peep story. Perfect thing to accompany today’s pic of my back alley in the rain, courtesy Hal’s back alley PeepCam.
Mark Writes: “Funny thing happened a few nights back while I was reading an anthology I am to review. It was a little after 2AM and while taking a break sipping my coffee and gazing out my fourth floor flat’s 10 foot by 5 foot window which overlooks a deserted downtown Edmonton parking lot, what do I witness? A sports car enters the parking lot, and parks in the middle of the lot under one of the streetlamps. Out of the sports car emerge a man and a woman: the man in a black tuxedo, the woman in what I could make out was a purple satin dress; they had obviously just come from some high brow affair. In the man’s right hand: a camera attached to a very large lens. Next thing I know, the woman crawls up onto the hood of the sports car, yanks up her purple satin dress, her legs spread eagled for her male companion to photograph. This all took place in the span of about 40 to 45 seconds. Voyeurism? Exhibitionism? The point? Even in an empty downtown parking lot at 2AM, somebody is watching.”
Back Alley September 30th: Tuesday Morning Rain
2008,
14:48 GMT
Hal in the New York Times Magazine
Posted by: Hal
Hi everyone…I’ve got a piece in the New York Times Magazine that comes out tomorrow. It’s already online here. It’s my formal write-up of the Failed Facebook Party. Give it a read and let me know what you think! Best, Hal.
ps – pick up the Sunday Times on your way to Canzine, and you can tell me what you think in person! I’ll be there all day, from 1-7.
2008,
14:58 GMT
Who Will Be Hal's 1000th Friend?
Posted by: Hal
So, okay, here’s the deal. Since my article in the New York Times Magazine came out about my failed Facebook Friends party, I’ve received hundreds of messages and friend requests. People have commiserated with me, shared their own tales of failed social events, and told me their philosophy of Facebook Friend adding/deleting/refusing. They’ve promised that if I’m ever in San Antonio or Palo Alto or Sudbury, they’ll buy me a beer. They are kind and, since most of them liked my piece, they seem smart too.
I still believe in the value of making “friends” online through Facebook or other social networks. Obviously I’m now far more skeptical of the possibility that one might take some of those virtual online friendships (which are more like connections, acquaintances, handshakes) and turn them into ongoing real life friendship. But that doesn’t mean that I’m going to stop using Facebook or stop accepting friend requests from people I don’t personally know.
So, with all that said, I’m on the cusp of having 1,000 friends. I am, to be precise, now at 959 friends. And I have 53 friend requests. This means that somewhere amidst all those friend requests is my 1000th friend. Who will it be? Well, I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. I’m going to take my 1000th friend out to lunch. (If they are anywhere near Toronto, that is…if they’re somewhere else I’ll send them flowers and we’ll do a virtual lunch.) I’m going to find out all about them. I’m going to report back to you about my 1000th Facebook friend. Who are they? Will they have lunch with me? Will they want to be my “real” friend?
Sometime tonight or tomorrow I’ll be going through those 53 friend requests and adding them. I accept all comers so I won’t be picking and choosing…it will be a totally random in-order-of-friend-request process by which I arrive at friend one thousand.
Stay tuned…
2008,
13:15 GMT
My 1000th Friend!
Posted by: Hal
Okay, just added 50 or so new friends. I kept a careful tally as I made my way up to 1000. I didn’t want to misscount. It wasn’t the guy from Bangladesh or the girl from China writing a thesis on Facebook. It was almost my high school friend’s mom (sorry marjorie..you were 2 away). It wasn’t woody allen (or the person claiming to be woody allen) who added me as a friend this morning. (I am not making that up. How could you make that up?) The winner of the Hal’s 1000th Friend Contest is…drum roll…
MARIE ANGELL from Houston, Texas.
Good going Marie!
I’ve messaged Marie and am anxiously waiting to hear back from her. Since she’s in Texas and I’m in Toronto, I think I’ll send her flowers. Then we can chat online and I’ll find out all about her and if she’s okay to have me post what I find online, I’ll certainly do so. For now, all I can tell you is that she is a musician in a band and she seems like a pretty cool, fun person. Check out her band The Snake Charmers.
Thanks for being my 1000th Facebook pal Marie!
Hal.
The Bloggist
Hey, I’m Hal Niedzviecki. I’m a writer/thinker who lives in Toronto, Ontario, Canada with my wife and daughter. Up till now I’ve always considered myself a private person. But at the same time I’m fascinated by people who effortlessly open themselves up to the whole world. So I’ve… more...
A short piece I wrote for AOLnews about why Peep culture trumps privacy online. http://bit.ly/bQECsC
New content on the Broken Pencil website! Short fiction: Shack the Clam Girl + How to Make Your Own Game Cabinet http://bit.ly/b6CHLP
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